Across The Alternate
by calliecature
Summary: After a freak accident, Roger finds himself in an alternate universe and staring at a barrel of a gun. "You have 45 seconds to tell me who you are, "the red-haired man says icily, "And what have you done to my darling Rhoda."
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Across the Alternate**

**Summary**: Halloween Special! After a freak accident, Roger finds himself in an alternate universe and staring at a barrel of a gun. "You have 45 seconds to tell me who you are, "the red-haired man says icily, "And what have you done to my darling Rhoda."

**Disclaimer**: I do not own "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" –oh well.

**Proofread by the awesome** **ReadingRose459 who can withstand the intensity of my grammatical errors :D**

* * *

**Chapter 1: I Wonder What This Button Does**

Baby Herman can't wait for Halloween.

To be over.

The "Baby" takes a puff from his cigar, having just finished filming the Halloween Special, miraculously, with no blow-ups. Filming the episode today was particularly easy because Roger is a natural scaredy-cat. Or bunny as the case may be.

He takes a long inhale in his cigar.

"3…2…1…" he mutters to himself.

Roger pops up from nowhere. "Hiya Herman!"

A long time ago, that would have sent Herman into cardiac arrest, but after working with Roger for a long time, the old toon had developed Roger Radar.

The rabbit begins to hop up and down. "Jeepers, Baby Herman! Halloween's coming! I can't wait to go trick-and-treating!"

Herman's eyes bulge for a moment.

"Roger, about that…"

The rabbit seems not to have heard him or his hesitance as he continues to talk excitedly.

"Hey, what are we going to wear for Halloween? Remember our costumes last time?"

Herman cringes at the memory. Roger had dressed up in his pajamas and Herman got talked into wearing a teddy bear suit. Yes, the great Baby Herman was somehow convinced to put on something to make himself look like the very thing he wants to shoot at.

"We can dress as another theme for Halloween! We can go as Alice and the white rabbit!"

Baby Herman gives him a deadpan expression. Two guesses as to who would wear the dress.

"No."

A lightbulb flashes above the rabbit's head, "I know! I can be a mindless zombie and you can be the brain!"

Herman rolls his eyes, "Aren't we that already in real life?"

Roger indignantly puts his hands on his hips, "Hey!" then he pauses, "How about a tree and a monkey then?"

Herman's eyes widen with horror. "Hell, no!"

Roger wraps his ears around his head, "I can go as a bald guy and you can be the wig."

Herman looks at him sarcastically, "Now you're doing it on purpose."

"A pair of eyeballs?"

The "Baby" slaps a hand on his face, "Please, stop."

"Lady and the Tramp?"

"Dogs or actual women?"

"Herman!"

Roger gives him a chastising look before going into the Halloween hype again.

"This is going to be great! We can go as a Mona Lisa and Da Vinci, a Mexican and a Pinata, a fisherman and a lobster or you can be a sunflower and I can be a packet of seeds!"

Herman pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Roger, have you been eating too much Halloween candy again? Yikes!"

Roger has grabbed him and begins to twirl around on one foot while holding him up high.

"If Jessica can come with us, we can come in a theme trio for Halloween! What are costumes that come in three? We can go as the characters of Wizard of Oz!"

Herman struggles in his clasp.

"Roger! I…"

"-Or Alice and the twins! Or salt, pepper and sugar! Or Goldilocks and the two bears! Or-"

Herman's blood pressure shoots up several degrees.

"Rabbit! Will you-"

"-rock, paper and scissors! Whoohoo! This is going to be fun, Baby Herman-"

"Roger!" he pops out from the rabbit's grasp.

He lands on the ground and turns to face his friend.

"I don't want to go trick-or-treating this year- or any year at all."

Silence falls between the two before Roger looks at him as though he said Christmas is cancelled.

"But… but why?"

Herman clenches his fists on his sides and yells the obvious. "Because it's childish, Roger!"

Roger waits for his ears to stop flapping from his sound waves. "But you never minded before."

The "Baby" sighs. Last Halloween as they were passing by the houses, he saw adults- people around their age and older having parties, getting drunk and dancing with ladies in hot costumes. And what about him? He had turned to look at his friend who was busy rummaging through his sack of candies. He's in a stupid costume with a childish Roger and acting like the baby that a lot of people think he is.

How can you explain that to someone who has a love for free candy?

"It's our thing, Herman," the rabbit continues.

He puts his hands on his hips, "Yeah? Well, find someone else to do it with you," he puts his arms in front of him and flings them away in defiance, "I'm through with kid stuff."

Herman finally stalks away hoping it would lower his Roger-induced headache. Heaven knows that rabbit is one of the few that can stand him, but does he have to be such a dork? A rare twinge of guilt courses through him. But Herman stubbornly holds his ground that he's through with immature activities.

The "Baby" grabs another cigar, ignoring the lady hired to pass him. He makes a wide berth to the blinking machines of the Mad Scientist that is the villain of today's episode. The villain's reassurance that they're harmless might be more believable if he didn't laugh like a maniac in the end. Of course, nobody believes him, even an idiot would know-

"I wonder what this button does."

Herman drops his cigar. That sounds like-

"Roger! Noooo-"

BOOM!

Herman coughs out through the haze of explosion as the dust begins to settle down. He grits his teeth. That rabbit is going to die from his own curiosity someday- if he doesn't kill him first. How many times does he have to tell Roger not to touch the props after filming? Even that mad scientist's props are questionable.

"Roger, you doof-brain!" he yells entering the thick cloud of explosion. From inside, he can see a silhouette of two long ears and a triangular body. "How many times do I-"

The silhouette becomes clearer and a rabbit bursts out of the haze and hugs him tight. Inside or outside the set, the idiot has no concept of personal space.

"Baby Mina! I was so scared! Are you alright?" a feminine sound out. Baby Herman is too busy trying to ease the vise-like grip of the forearm against his neck to notice.

"Roger! Put me down!" he yells, his feet scrabbling the air. He finally frees his arms and he pushes his upperbody away to gain some distance. Baby Herman opens his mouth and-

His jaw drops.

"Roger, why are you crossdressing?"

The female rabbit looks down at him with equal blue-eyed confusion.

"Baby Mina, why does your voice sound croaky? And why are you only wearing your diaper?"

Herman's brows twist into a frown. "I'm not-" he suddenly realizes his hands are pushing against something soft. His eyes travel downwards before scrambling out of her grasp with a shout.

"Holy crap! Those are real!"

Herman lands on his butt from a distance and he stares at her. White fur shimmers as she turns her head around at their surroundings, her long ears swishing gracefully with her movement. Herman's eyes numbly take note of her tuft of ginger bangs, the dainty pink nose, and the polka dot bow tie on her front-

"Roger! Honey-bunny, are you alright?"

Both baby and rabbit turns to see Jessica striding worriedly towards them. The redhead stops when she sees the female rabbit. Jessica cocks her head.

"Roger?"

The doe suddenly looks around as though wondering who Jessica is talking to. Realizing there is no one else; she puts her yellow-gloved hand to herself.

"I'm not Roger. What's going on?"

"Eureka! It worked!"

They all look at the newcomer. The Mad Scientist dances towards them giddily and begins walking around the doe. The female toon seems vulnerable as she shrinks to herself with cautious eyes.

"Almost the same features, red outfit, white fur, same species! Why, I must take notes!"

Herman finally got over the weirdness. "Hey! Lay off from the lady! You're scaring her."

The doe shifts uncomfortably and hugs herself.

"Where's Baby Mina? And Jesse?"

Jessica gives an icy look at the scientist and he backs away. She puts a comforting hand on the doe's shoulder.

"I think the question first is who are you?"

The female rabbit looks up to her with wide blue eyes that remind Jessica uncannily of someone.

"I'm-"

XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Roger groans as he rises from the rubble. A clicking sound makes him look up and he finds himself staring at a barrel of a gun. A red-haired young man glares at him with emerald eyes that seem all-so-familiar.

"You have 45 seconds to tell me who you are," he says icily, "and what have you done to my darling Rhoda."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: It All Started With A Big Bang**

It's funny how one big bang can change everything.

Roger glances nervously at the short, pale woman in a lab coat as she circles around him with a scrutinizing gaze. In the rush of people arriving to see the explosion, she has grabbed him and two other toons and rushed them into "her teleporter" which took them into something that looks like a cavernous laboratory.

He looks questioningly at the two others –the man who has pointed a gun at him and a baby in a blue sailor shirt and diapers. The man is now staring stoically at him. Roger gives him a small smile and he simply ignores it. The baby only gives the rabbit a puzzled look of suspicion.

"Are you a male?" the lady-in-a-lab-coat asks in a slow, loud voice as though he had come from another planet. Even if she only comes up to his waist, the way she is crazily staring at him makes him take one step backward.

"Uuuhhh…. yeah?"

"BWA-hahaha-hahaha!" she laughs, dramatically throwing her hands in the air, "I did it!"

Roger is really grateful this lady has stopped the man from blowing his head off. But she's already fulfilling the scary factor of his Halloween.

"Well, duh! He's obviously a guy!" the baby exclaims impatiently, "The question is, where's Rhoda?"

Rabbit ears twitch at her voice which sounds more of a sour middle aged lady than that of a toddler. Roger looks at the baby toon in surprise, "You're a girl?"

The man sighs and puts a hand over his eyes. _Wrong move, buddy._

The rabbit gives a frightened scream when the baby suddenly leaps at his face like a wildcat. He lands on his butt as the little tot straddles him, tugging his overalls.

"Of course, I'm a girl, you idiot!" she explodes, "You wanna see my-"

The man lifts the baby up by her back collar, much like a cat by its nape.

"That is why they dressed babies in blue or pink, Hermina."

The lady-in-the-lab-coat (or maybe scientist by the looks of the laboratory) clears her throat.

"Roger, isn't it? I think it would be best if-"

**_Across the Alternate_**

"-you tell us what happened first," the Mad Scientist says eagerly.

Jessica glares at the Mad Scientist. After she and Herman have failed to find Roger, Jessica is ready to calmly beat the truth out of the madman with her frying pan. The only reason he doesn't have a bruise the size of his own brain is because she and Herman are waiting to hear this strange girl out.

She takes a good look at the strange toon girl. The same way Roger looks triangular with his baggy overalls; this Rhoda looks like a triangle with legs. Her sleeveless red dress has a skirt that looks permanently flared which skims above her knees.

Rhoda begins to play with the hem of her dress. "I remember looking at a machine that looks like that," Rhoda said, pointing at one of the exploded machines.

"It has this big shiny button," she continues, spreading her arms wide, "So I pushed it!"

Herman rolls his eyes, "Sounds like somebody I know."

**_Across the Alternate_**

Roger twists his ears into a pinwheel and they begin to rotate rapidly.

"Then there was this funny humming sound at first," he continues as he points back at the inventions, "then BOOM!" he jumps up with his arms wide for emphasis.

"I thought I was dead!" he exclaims, then he looks at the red-haired man, "but you were threatening me with a gun so it's a relief."

The man calmly raises a brow. If they only know where Rhoda was, that would have made him laugh. Beneath his calm demeanour, his mind is racing with worry. _Rhoda, where are you?_

**_Across the Alternate_**

"Are you sure you're not some long-lost cousin of his or something?" Herman asks suspiciously.

The Mad Scientist laughs knowingly at their confused faces, "Don't you understand?"

The "Baby" glares at him in frustration, "Why don't you tell us because it's your stupid machine anyway," he snaps.

Jessica looks closer at this female white rabbit that seems so familiar but at the same time, she isn't. Plus, add the mad science invention in the scene. _It's impossible but…_

"Do you meant to tell us-"

**_Across the Alternate_**

The Lady in the Lab Coat, chuckles to herself.

"Doesn't he seem familiar to you?" she asks the baby toon and the man.

She turns to Roger.

"Don't we look familiar to you?"

Roger stares at them. He looks at the baby humanoid toon with her blonde baby hair and blue eyes that are giving him a bratty glare. She has her hands on her hips with an impatient tapping foot that reminds him of someone.

He looks with confusion at the tall, well-built man that Roger knows a lot of girls would consider handsome. Even with the orange hair, the wine red dress suit and ebony pants seem to accentuate a dark and mysterious aura. But it was the man's cool, calm disposition that strikes Roger oddly familiar.

The man speaks, his voice clear and masculine, "Well, you do look like my Rhoda gone wrong."

Roger's mouth open indignantly, "Hey! I resent that casually calloused comment!"

Hermina smirks, lighting a cigarette from a delicate cigarette holder, "Now that sounds like somebody I know."

The female scientist turns at her heel and approaches a blackboard, "There is this theory that there is more than one universe in the space that never ends."

She grabs a chalk and writes some equations, "Sixty seconds times sixty minutes times twenty-four hours times three hundred sixty-five days times the speed of light- that's one light year. To be able to travel from one-"

"Just get to the point!" the baby snaps.

"It would take too long for a spaceship to travel- there must be another way! So I tried to invent one. But it seems to have worked so now it's, 'I invented one'!"

She stalks creepily towards Roger again with that manic grin. Roger steps back nervously.

"There is also another theory that universes are realities. In another universe are our alternate selves. Where the boys are girls and the girls are boys."

The man's eyes widen in confirmation before looking back at Roger. The lady scientist continues.

"I also have a pet theory," her hooded eyes glint mysteriously, "The same thing happens in both universes yet differently. As we speak-"

**_Across the Alternate_**

"-our selves in the other universe have now come to the same conclusion," the Mad Scientist says. Then he bursts out laughing, "BWA-haha-haha!"

Herman looks at him, unperturbed by his display of madness, "Are you telling us Roger has travelled to another universe at the same time his female counterpart got here?"

The scientist's eye twitches, "That's pretty much the case."

Silence falls as they stare at Rhoda and she stares back.

Rhoda steps towards them, awestruck. It's almost scary how she looks so much like Roger right down to the cottontail.

"You're right," she said, not noticing how the Mad Scientist shuddered delightfully at her words. The rabbit breathes a sigh of relief. She can now see in these toons the two people she cared and trust the most.

Rhoda tilts her head, rabbit ears swaying to one side. Fluffy cottontail twitches happily as she looks at them.

"Forgive me for staring. But if I ain't dreaming, I'd say you must be female Jesse and boy Baby Mina!"

"Actually, I'm Jessica and he's Baby Herman," Jessica replies. Even her dress has bear semblance to Roger's overalls to the two yellow buttons that can be found at her waistline.

Herman looks at her with a scrutinizing scowl. Rhoda must have noticed it because she turns to him with a friendly smile with those bright blue eyes. He looks away, somewhat disturbed.

"Wow," the rabbit says, looking at Jessica as though she's a goddess, "You're as much as a looker as my boyfriend is!"

"Wish we could say the same for Roger," Herman mutters.

"Huh?" Rhoda asks, blinking at him with those long lashes.

Jessica gives Herman a look before turning to face her, "Believe me, he just gave you a compliment."

"I did not," he says, irritably crossing his arms and scowling at the ground.

He's suddenly lifted off his feet.

Rhoda's grip is firm, gentle but with smaller hands than that of Roger's. Herman blinks at her as she tilts her head to the side with a warm, wondrous smile.

"Jinkies," she murmurs, "You even got Mina's cherubic scowl."

Herman stares wordlessly at her.

She gives a cute squeal of happiness, breaking Herman from his stupor. Roger hoots, hollers, yodels. But Roger never squeals.

"My best friend's counterpart!" she says jubilantly before curshing him into a hug and twirling around like a little girl who got a new toy.

Herman struggles, feeling a sense of déjà vu. And a soft chest.

"PUT. ME. DOWN!"

Herman finally plops down on the ground as Rhoda turns to Jessica again. She clasps her hands together excitedly; her eyes bright with a spark the two are familiar with.

"This is amazing!" she says, hoping up and down, "You and Jesse are like the pair of pulchritude! The crowns of comeliness! The sky-high splendours! The-"

"What about me?" the Mad Scientist asks with fervour.

"Well," Rhoda says, stopping to put her hand on her chin before snapping her fingers, "You do remind me of the Lady in the Lab Coat!"

The Mad Scientist is suddenly in her face.

"Really? Tell me, what are her achievements? Have you talked to her? Has she discov-"

"She has your laugh," she says quickly, ducking from his mad stare, "And eye twitch and the same scary gaze..."

"What is her opinion on xenoplasmic phlegm separator? Has she managed to keep alive that two-head-"

"How about you fix the machine and bring her back home?" Jessica asks with a hint of threat, "If your theory is correct, they'd be doing the same right now."

The Mad Scientist backs away from Rhoda.

"That's right! I must fix the machine, the time for this mystery has come to an end in the name of science!" he runs around his lab, laughing like the mad scientist that he is.

Rhoda, Jessica and Herman look at each other.

Herman turns away. "I need to call someone," he mutters and goes off to look for a phone. As he walks, the reality of their situation begins to settle in.

Roger is missing. The Mad Scientist says he's in another universe where there is Jesse for Jessica and Baby Mina for Herman. Right now, there is this Rhoda whom Roger has swapped universes with.

Rhoda – a girl Roger who is just as annoying.

If this isn't really happening, Herman would have scorn the absurdity of the situation.

He finally finds a phone inside the crazy lab. When something gets too strange even for a toon, Herman knows one person who can help.

"Hello, Poppy? It's me, Herman."

* * *

**Author's Note:** What if the world's smallest misogynist meets the female version of his best friend in the world?


	3. Differently Yet The Same

**Chapter 3: Differently Yet The Same  
**

* * *

"Yeah! I know ya don't work for me anymore… what?! This isn't about me! And I'm not bratty! This is about Roger!... Why didn't I say so?! Yer the one yelling –I am not! Aaaauuurgh! Just get in here! You know the address…. What? I can't tell ya or you'll think I'm crazy…. Shaddap, Poppy!"

If it was anyone else, Herman would have slam down the phone. But experience has taught Herman to fear her a little- which he will only admit if held dangling above a vat of The Dip. He storms back to the living room (miraculously, they found one), muttering about stubborn ex-nannies.

_Women, _he thought irritably as he pushes the door open.

Rhoda is talking animatedly to Jessica who sits back with a rare amused smile on her face. The scene rather reminds Herman of the times he'd see Roger and Jessica talking. From the looks of it, the two seems to be bonding quicker than superglue.

The rabbit is now hopping up and down the way Roger would whenever he gets excited about something. Her voice carries through the air in the same volume Roger's voice would in his natural cheery disposition. She flings her arms wide in harmony with her expressive ears the same manner Roger would when telling an anecdote.

But Rhoda isn't Roger.

_Rhoda is_, Herman tries to grasp words, _a Roger with boobs_. _Gross!_

And he accidentally touched her. _Gross!_

And she invades space with a death grip of a python.

_The heck with that?!_ he thought irritably, staring at the two occupants inside the room.

One occupant inside the room.

Herman blinks, realizing he's just seeing Jessica. Where's-

A pair of blue eyes fills his entire vision.

"Hiya Herman!"

Herman yells in surprise, the shock almost sending him into cardiac arrest.

**_Across the Alternate_**

"Jeepers!" Roger squeaks on the ground. "You hit harder than Herman!" he says talking in a high pitched voice.

Baby Mina looks down at Roger who has curled up into a ball holding something vital and injured.

"Why do people keep on surprising me!?" she asks with exasperation, stepping over him, "My foot has a mind of its own!"

Mina turns to Jesse who is standing by the window, "I just called Pop, and he'll be here any moment."

Roger whimpers in agony but a chuckle interrupts his mental laments. He looks up to see Jesse pressing his lips together the same way Jessica would when she's trying not to laugh.

That's enough for Roger to smile.

Mina smirks as Roger finally shakes it off and hobbles to the couch. She puffs from a cigarette holder.

"So, how am I as a boy, Rhoda-with-a-doodle?"

"Mina!" Roger chastises reactively.

The "Baby" smirks at the familiar pattern albeit with a different person.

"Just kidding, rabbit. Well?"

Roger straightens up from the sofa, thumping one rabbit foot thoughtfully.

"He's a famous toon star way before I was working with him," he says, "He does get upset easily-"

Jesse coughs.

"-Swears like a sailor, smokes a lot and has an armoury inside his pram-"

Jesse turns to Mina, "Wow, Mina," he says in voice of mild sarcasm, "He's so unlike you."

"He's a really good guy once you got over his animosity to people who coo at him," Roger continues, and then he gives a big grin, "Plus he's a true friend!"

Jesse continues to look at the window, leaning on the windowsill with his arms folded, his emerald eyes distant.

"Stop smirking, Mina. He's talking about Herman not you."

"He's my counterpart," the "Baby" shots back, settling back on the sofa, "Whatever he does is an interpretation of me."

She gives Roger a sideways glance, "What about this Jessica?"

Emerald eyes flicker at them.

It only takes the rabbit's sappy expression to say it all.

"She's perfect!" he sighs.

Mina scowls at Jesse who looks back at the window.

"Stop smirking, Jesse."

The vocalist responds only by casually giving her a cool smile fit for a front cover of a magazine. Mina harrumphs and turns back to Roger.

"So how'd ya and this Jessica end up together?"

Jesse raises a brow Mina.

"What?" Mina asks, "I'm curious about what Labcoat said, you know, about being different here and there yet it's still the same."

Mina turns back to Roger with a wicked grin and jerks her thumb at Jesse.

"Do you know how Jesse and Rhoda got together?" she cackles at the memory, "Ya should have seen them both! Rhoda _never_ had a guy who has the "hots" for her and Jesse _never_ had a girl who doesn't worship him as a sex god."

Roger cringes at her choice of words, his ears curling to themselves, "Mina!"

"Rhoda was so oblivious! It was almost painful to watch!" Mina is now thumping the sofa with a fist in a fit of laughter, "Until-"

"Until I told her point-blank," Jesse says, "She was surprised and needed some time-"

"Ya scared her off because yer too forward!" Mina crows, holding her sides from laughing, "She avoided you for a week!"

The baby stops laughing long enough to look at Roger.

"It took dogged determination to convince her he's serious. Even then, it took him longer to get her on a date!"

"That was then," Jesse says smoothly, leaving the window. He leans back on the armchair, crossing his long legs that remind Roger of elegant strokes of charcoal.

"So how'd ya and Jessica got together?" Mina asks, her laughter subsiding.

Roger looks at them sheepishly.

"We kissed and we became official."

Mina rolls on the sofa howling with laughter as an annoyed expression crosses Jesse's handsome features.

**_Across the Alternate_**

"So," Rhoda says, trying to dissolve the storm clouds above Herman's head, "Who's Poppy?"

"Herman's human ex-nanny," Jessica answers, adjusting her dress, "Her name is actually Mary but we call her 'Poppy' because of her surname," she continues as she stands up to look at the window.

Rhoda's eyes lights up, "Just like Mina's ex-butler! We call him Pop because of his last name too! Mina says he's unlike any other humans!"

"How similar do you think are our worlds?" Jessica muses.

"I dunno," Rhoda replies, shrugging, "Do you also sing at the Charcoal Groove?"

Jessica smiles, "At the Ink-and-Paint Club, actually."

"Yer an A-list toon star too?"

Both girls turn to Herman who has settled on an armchair with a lit cigar.

Rhoda beams, "Why of course!"

Herman startles when she suddenly hops on the coffee table like it's a stage.

"Rhoda Rabbit, cartoon comedienne," she says with a curtsy then she straightens up and points a thumb confidently on her chest, "My whole purpose in life is to make people laugh!"

He gives her an unimpressed look. Comediennes are rare because it's hard for women to be funny. Roger is a comedian whose talent lies in visual gags and slapstick comedy. Does a girl getting mauled by a mallet funny? Nope. TV Censors would react faster than one can say "Supercallifragi-" whatever it is that Poppy says.

Looking at her, how on earth does this bunny make people laugh?

"Eep!" Rhoda squeaks as the coffee table she's standing on collapses.

CRASH!

She hops backward on to the sofa but her feet hits the backrest and the sofa falls backward along with her.

"Whoa!" she yells, her arms windmilling before the sofa crashes on the floor. Rhoda rolls into a ball away from the fallen furniture before straightening up.

"Jinkies! I'm so sorry!"

Rhoda must also be very cultured too because she bows down in apology, her rump hitting a bookcase that hits another bookcase and another in a domino effect.

CRASH! CRASH! CRASH!

Too bad the last book case chooses to fall onto Herman. But first, it decided to plop every book on top of his head.

Pak! Pak! Pak! Pakpakpakpakakakakakak! CRASH!

Silence ensues as the dust settles in. Jessica blinks, calmly registering the damage that looks like a storm got inside the room.

Herman finally bursts out from underneath the bookcase. He stops, looking at slender rabbit feet before looking up.

"Jinkies, Baby Herman," Rhoda says as she kneels beside him, her rabbit ears drooping. She looks at him like a puppy that is about to be punished, "Are you alright?"

Herman stares wordlessly at her. The rabbit then decides to make things right: by making him laugh.

"Hey Herman!" she says in a sing-song voice before making the silliest face she can pull.

Herman still stares wordlessly at her.

_How can someone, anyone make the craziest face and still ain't look ugly? _he thought.

Then it dawns on him.

_Rhoda is an A-list toon star by being the cutest klutz on the face of the Earth._

Wait, what? Did he just called her-

_GROSS!_

Jessica looks at him strangely, "Herman? Are you alright?" Right now he should be raving and ranting about hazards and should they "fool" proof everything around her or not.

It takes a while for Jessica to get it.

DINGDONG!

"That must be Poppy," he says quickly. Things are getting weirder and he can't wait for everything to go back to normal.

**_Across the Alternate_**

Mina opens the door revealing a stately-looking young gentleman.

"What is it now, Mina?" Pop asks, "What do you need to show-"

Pop's eyes settle on a familiar-looking rabbit that is not the rabbit he knows at all. He makes a beeline for Roger. The rabbit steps back a little, surprised.

"Jeepers! You could have been Poppy's twin brother," Roger says, staring at the young man in Victorian clothes, "if she has one."

The ex-butler does not say a word as he takes out a tape measure. He measures Roger's height from his floppy feet to the tips of his ears. Pop gives a nod.

"We need to talk."

Mina yelps as Pop pulls her outside the house and slams the front door.

Roger and Jesse looks at each other in confusion. The vocalist shrugs.

"Let them catch up for awhile."

**_Across the Alternate_**

Poppy gives Herman a quizzical look.

"You're telling me that Roger is replaced by Rhoda, his girl version, because of a machine made by the Mad Scientist?"

Herman puffs out a smoke ring, "Yeah that's why I called you. You can do all those hocus-pocus that ya kept denying after."

Poppy raises a brow, "What hocus-pocus? The only magical thing I did while working for you is getting you to stop calling me 'Toots'."

He looks at her shrewdly. He'll never understand how she can do all of those things and why she denies all of it after.

"Just help the loony as best as ya can," he goes back inside the house, "Don't worry, Roger and Jessica never has a clue anyway."

Herman slams the door behind him.

Poppy waits for his footsteps to be gone before looking around. Seeing no one, she takes an antique telephone out of a small purse that would not have accommodated it.

"Hello, Pop?" Poppy sighs already massaging her temple.

"It's me, Poppy. We got two rabbits in trouble. _Big_ trouble."

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

The Mad Scientist hums happily as he works on a new machine. He stops when he feels a gust of wind flap his labcoat. A voice as icy as the breeze speaks out.

"What were you thinking?"

He turns around to see a young woman in a simple Victorian dress glaring at him. The Mad Scientist smirks.

"Why if it isn't sweet-little-Mary-quiet-contrary. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Poppy snaps her fingers and every junk cluttering the lab closes in on the scientist, trapping him immobile. She calmly walks towards him.

"Two universes of contrasting matter, scientist. Do you even have an idea?

Herman's ex-nanny seldom gets mad. But put her friends in danger…

She grabs his jaw and forcibly makes him look at her.

"Positive plus negative. What do you think will happen to Roger and Rhoda in a matter of time?"


	4. Chapter 4: Before the Big Bang

**Chapter Four: Before the Big Bang**

* * *

There was this guy.

Never mind the name. Rhoda thought it's the classic boy-meets-girl story. He's a pretty decent guy, pretty cute too. He's funny, he's smart and like all first loves; the days were spent with her floating aloft in Cloud Nine.

But then he made a queasy face and said, "Let's just be friends."

ToonTown experienced a Richter scale of level 9 earthquake when Rhoda crashed down to earth.

As she rose out of the bunny-shaped hole with stars dancing around her head, she vows to never make the same mistake again –by being the best girl _space_ friend a guy can ever have.

* * *

Mina always says she's naïve but Rhoda would beg to differ.

The rabbit stretches her arms, taking in the sunlight. Humming, she skips to the direction of the studio.

A group of cartoon choir girls walks by her and she waves at them. They wave back and start whispering to each other.

_Oh, right_, she thought, _I knew this would happen._

Gossip is strong in ToonTown. Of course, one of the circulating gossips would surround Jesse Krupnick –the "hot male vocalist" that is catching the eye of women and women-at-heart, toons and humans alike.

Rhoda rolls her eyes, people would make up anything. Ever since Jesse has become an extra in their show, it can't be help that there'd be people involved in the make-believe drama. Being A-list toon stars, Rhoda and Mina have their fair share of gossip but not as intriguing as that of their friend.

Right now, the gossip surrounds him and her. She gives out a bubbly laugh –a rabbit and a humanoid toon? Whoever heard of such a thing? But that's gossip for you.

She knows what to do. She got it all down the pat backed by a long history of being one of the boys.

Phase one, she and some guy would become friends. They'd talk, they'd laugh, and they'd enjoy each other's company.

Phase two, that companionable bond would become a bond of kinship. Outsiders would see a guy and a girl and they'd get ideas. This is where boy would get uncomfortable.

Phase three, is the time for The Talk. Make it clear to him that you know what he feels and tell him you feel the same for him: "Just friends." Boy would then be relieved and everything would be back to normal.

Mina should eat her bonnet, kettle and every idiom of a nonbeliever.

"Hi, Jesse!"

A tall, elegant figure turns to face her. Rhoda is too used to the jazz music playing in the background to notice its regular occurrence whenever he's around.

Emerald eyes flicker up from the book he's reading and hold her sunny smile for a moment. Jesse then breaks contact and resumes flipping the pages.

"I should never have bought 'Gone with the Wind' in a toon bookstore," he said, his brows mildly creased with confusion, "When I opened the pages, all the words were blown away."

"Gone with the Wind?" Rhoda asks, she grabs his book and flips it open, "That's easy. Thhhhhhhhppppppptttt!"

Jesse blinks with shock after Rhoda makes a raspberry at the pages. She gives it back to him and he's even more surprised when he sees the words are back again on the book.

"It's in the tip of your tongue!"Rhoda exclaims, "Jinkies! That's the trouble with you humanoid toons. You think too much like humans!"

Jesse's lips quirks into a cool, half-smile that a lot of fangirls would kill for.

"Whatever would I do without you?" he asks, settling back on his chair.

Rhoda laughs and plops herself on the table beside him.

Time to initiate Phase Three.

She grabs a magazine and flips through it. Before doing The Talk, make sure both of you are preoccupied with an activity to dissipate the incoming awkwardness.

"So, Jesse," she says, skimming over an ad for electric seat buzzers, "Heard the latest gossip today?"

Jesse gives a noncommittal shrug, "I couldn't care less."

"Well, there's this gossip around Mauve Studios," she continues and rolls her eyes, "And you know how people are."

Emerald eyes rise above the rim of his book. Just because he doesn't care about gossip doesn't mean he hasn't heard them. Rhoda finds a crossword puzzle and takes out a pen.

"One of 'em is about you and me," she says as she chews her pen thoughtfully before scribbling in the boxes, "And don't worry, I'm not getting any funny ideas."

There, simple, cool and casual. No drama. This is almost like clockwork. Boy would either answer with a laugh or a funny remark then Rhoda would play-threateningly ask if they're the ones getting funny ideas. They would then banter away with the issue solved and completely forgotten.

Jinkies, she should write a book. She happily answers another question as she let her dangling legs swing over the edge of the table.

"What kind of gossip anyway?"

Rhoda looks up in surprise. Well, Jesse isn't like most guys. She shrugs and goes back to her crossword puzzle.

"You know, people think there's something going on between us. I mean, come on!" she exclaims, looking up from her puzzle, "Maybe it's because we're friends that's why we hang out together? They see a guy, they see a girl –it's very ridiculous! We're not even of the same species!"

Rhoda misses the look that flashes across Jesse's face before it becomes unreadable again.

"And you know what's more ridiculous? It's the majority of today's gossip is you like _like_ me!" she drops the magazine in a fit of laughter as she clutches her stomach at the very idea.

A shadow covers over her and Rhoda looks up to see Jesse standing in front of her, blocking her light. Even when she's sitting on the table, he still manages to tower over her.

"What's so ridiculous about that?" he asks quietly.

"Oh come on!" Rhoda says, wondering why one of them still doesn't get it, "Look at you!"

She gestures at him, every detail of him a dream drawn to real life.

"And look at me!" she exclaims, gesturing to herself by giving a cock-eyed expression while circling a finger on the side of her head, "If they're going to make something up, the least they can do is make it believable!"

Jesse put his hands on either side of her, leaning forward.

"They didn't make it up."

Rhoda leans backward, suddenly aware of their proximity, "Haha, very funny, Jesse."

The vocalist gives her a smouldering gaze that would have weaken the knees of any woman, "I'm not being funny, Rhoda."

Rhoda's mouth hangs open. For once, loud chatterbox Rhoda doesn't have a comeback.

"They simply talk what everyone can see except you," he says.

Rhoda leans back further and Jesse can see she's starting to shake, "J-jesse, stop it!"

"You're a rabbit, I'm a humanoid toon. So what? I've seen weirder things," he continues, stepping closer.

In an effort not to be touched by any part of him, Rhoda parts her legs. Jesse stops when his hips hit the edge of the table.

If anyone walks in on them, ToonTown's Gossip Column would become the FrontPage.

Heat is rushing up her face. This isn't happening! Jesse? But how? When? Why? How did she end up like this again?

_Hit him! Push him off and run away!_ Her mind screams.

She shakes her head hard as though trying to wake up from a really strange dream –or nightmare.

"I don't believe this!"

"Fine."

The rabbit gasps when he suddenly leans closer. But Jesse stops with their lips are only centimetres apart.

"I'm coming for you," he says and Rhoda can numbly feel his breathe upon her lips, "But you'll have to meet me one-tenth of the way."

He straightens up and steps back from a shellshocked rabbit, "That's all I ask."

Jesse walks out of the room, leaving a stunned Rhoda behind.

**XOXOXOXOXOXO**

Even from inside her trailer, she can already hear someone calling her name.

"Miiiiiinnnnnaaaaaaaaaaa!"

The mentioned toon does not bother to look up from her spa table as the sound gets louder and louder. Nor does she turn to see who bursts inside the room and slams the door close again.

"The least you can do is knock," she says, taking off the sliced cucumbers on her eyes before facing the intruder.

She stops when she sees Rhoda.

"What on earth happened to yah?"

Rhoda is plastered against the door as though to prevent anything from following her. Her eyes are wide and scared and for some reason she's breathing very fast.

Mina yelps when Rhoda zips to her and scoops her up so that she's know eye-to-eye to a very frantic Rhoda.

"Mina! Something weird happened! I don't know why it happened! I don't know how it happened! It just did! It's surprising that I'm taking this very well-"

"Yes. Yes you are," Rhoda said dryly.

"-but why?! This is an atrocious anomaly! An eccentric enigma! A paranormal paragon! A-"

"Simple summary if ya wud just git to da point!" Mina says impatiently, her street slang sounding.

Rhoda gently set Mina down and begins pacing the length of her carpet, one finger twirling her ear distractedly.

"You know my Three Steps Guide to Guy Friends, right?"

Mina arcs a brow. Of course she knows about her friend's "just-a-friend" mindset. Rhoda perfected the "Always the Friend, Never the Girlfriend" shtick since _him._ Rhoda continues to talk, wringing her yellow-gloved hands together.

"I mean it never failed me before. The boys are happy and I'm happy with the friendships I have made with all of them. But Jesse-"

"Wait! What about Jesse? Did that bastard did anything to ya?" Mina interrupts.

Rhoda stops and slowly looks at her. Silence stretches between them before the doe shakes her head with more vigour than necessary.

"No!"

Mina crosses her arms.

"That would have been more convincing if you're not as red as your dress," she puts on her "Don't-Lie-To-Me" face, "What did he do?"

Rhoda turns redder as she slaps both hands on her face and slowly slid against the wall down the floor.

"He- he almost kissed me but didn't. He told me he likes me," she lifts her hands from her face to look at her, "Like _like_ me, Mina. Where on earth did that came from?"

Mina calmly stands there, looking at the distressed rabbit.

"So he finally told ya, huh?"

"Who would have thought –wait, what?"

The "Baby" toon lights a cigarette, "Everybody knows, hon."

Rhoda's mouth opens and closes disbelievingly, "B-b-but I'm-" she gestures to herself, "He's a-" she gestures outside.

"So? We've got humans who got toons in a relationship. At least you're both toons," Mina says, flicking her cigarette on an ashtray.

"I'm not even in his league!" she exclaims, standing on her tiptoes and raising one hand high above her head for emphasis.

Mina shrugs.

Rhoda grabs her ears again and covers them over her eyes, "Why me?"

* * *

_A long time ago…_

Inside Mauve Studios, a lone toon wonders inside the screening room. If Mina and Rhoda are going to take their sweet time preparing to leave, he might as well find a way to pass time. He can leave without them with no hard feelings but he likes spending time with Rhoda even if Mina is always scowling at him.

When Rhoda's around, everything's light and funny. She's the first girl who ever befriended him with no hope or intention that there'd be fireworks between them or whatever they call it in those prissy romance novels.

Besides, she makes him laugh.

Looking at the library, his finger brush cases and cases of labelled film until something caught his eye: Rhoda Rabbit, first cartoon short.

Jesses' brows rise with interest. Funny, it didn't say "Baby Mina and Rhoda Rabbit Cartoon Short". He lets it play on the machine and sits down as soon as the white screen lights up.

A nature scene brightens the screen as piano music filters inside the room. In the middle of it all is Rhoda smiling at the camera and doing a simple sidestepping dance in time with the music. Then she sings.

"_I want to be pretty_

_I want to be loved_

_I want to be happy _

_Not mocked from above"_

Jesse smiles in amusement. Rhoda doesn't act this cute in or out of the set. It must be one of those trial cartoon shorts for beginning toons.

Rhoda in the screen makes a sad funny face as she pulls her ears around her like a hood.

"_Don't want to be homely_

_Don't want to be lonely"_

Jesse smirks, she is never self-conscious in making funny faces if it makes her ugly or not. Prettier women would be worrying over that kind of thing but Rhoda's that comfortable with her own pelt.

The camera pans around her as she twirls with her arms wide open, her ears trailing with the movement.

"_Don't want to see my dreams go free!"_

Her ears were always kind of distracting whenever they were talking. They seem to have a mind of their own sometimes.

Jesse's eyes calmly widen in surprise when Rhoda jumps from the side of the screen and hugs a male anthromorph rabbit toon with a sappy adoring gaze.

"_I just want a boyfriend_

_A guy of my own-"_

The screen next shows the guy on a boat holding the oars. Rhoda drags a very heavy picnic basket and jumps on the boat. The boat lurches heavily to her end, sending the guy flying into the lake.

"_This way my life won't end_

_Forever alone-"_

The boat rights again and Rhoda looks everywhere for him. When she couldn't find him, she hangs her head.

Next scene shows Rhoda pumping her fist determinedly in a (which he is looking at in an objective point of view) very cute way.

"_One day I will find you_

_There's nothing I won't do-"_

Rhoda can next be seen skipping merrily with her arms around another toon rabbit's arm. She lets go of him and runs towards the camera by crossing a fastlane, the buck following her.

"_-'Cause you will make my dreams come true!"_

She sings happily, oblivious when the buck got hit by a passing car on the background.

The camera then shows Rhoda dragging toon rabbit no. 3 excitedly down the street.

"_We'll walk together-"_

Unfortunately, the guy kept getting hit by stop signs, mail boxes and lamp posts behind Rhoda. She suddenly lets him go when she saw something in the shop window and he falls down a man hole.

"_-And talk together-"_

After toon rabbit no. 4 whispers something in her ear, she puts her hand giddily on her cheek and punches him with affection. The punch sends him into a brick wall.

"_-Be locked together-"_

The next scene is Rhoda carrying affectionately tying herself with toon rabbit no. 5 –with a straightjacket.

"_-In every way!"_

"I think I'm seeing a pattern here," Jesse murmurs as he watches Rhoda hug another toon rabbit who looks asphyxiated. A crunching sound can be heard in the background.

"_There's none I'd rather_

_Completely smother-"_

X-ray flashes on the toon guy as he passes out, unnoticed by Rhoda who is smiling at the camera with one leg popping up behind her.

"_Than you my lover all day!"_

The camera shows Rhoda with a heart-breaking expression.

"_And if you'll cheat_

_You will make me bleed_

_I will -"_

Her voice suddenly becomes deep and guttural as her eyes suddenly flash red. Rabbit ears wave at the heat of the flames that burst from her very aura.

"–MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL_-"_

In the blink of an eye, she turns back to sweet, gentle Rhoda, blinking innocently.

"_-All day!"_

Jesse leans back, shaken. He doesn't know she can do that.

"_I want to be pretty_

_I want to be loved-"_

From the hallway, Rhoda wanders around looking for Jesse. Her ears twitch when she hears a familiar tune. She freezes when she follows it to the screening room.

With a scream of horror, she leaps in front of the screen, waving her arms.

"Turn it off! Turn it off!"

Jesse leans to the side, trying to watch, a cool smile playing on his lips.

"But why? It's funny."

"It's embarrassing!" she exclaims.

"It's not," Jesse says firmly.

He pulls her to a seat beside him, "C'mon, it's almost finish."

Rhoda relents by letting him pull her and she puts her hands and ears over her eyes.

"_I know I am dorky_

_But give me a chance!"_

The screen shows Rhoda chasing a very scared Cupid who is holding a paper that bans Rhoda from being matched.

"_I'm not in a hurry_

_I just want romance"_

The Rhoda glares at Jesse as his shoulders shake with silent laughter. The next screen shows more of the Rhoda he knows.

"_One day I will get there-"_

She puts her hands on her hips defiantly.

"_-You doubt me I don't care"_

She points to the far horizon, as though looking at something unreachable but with determination.

"_One day I will find you_

_There's nothing I won't do"_

The ending scene shows Rhoda holding a very large quarter. She spins around in one foot, looking up at the camera above.

"'_Cause you will make my dreams-" _

She lets it fly into the wishing lake behind her.

"-_coooome_-"

The gigantic quarter hurtles towards a buck wishing for a girlfriend. Rhoda stops spinning and spreads her arms wide looking at the camera. She never notices the coin plunging the guy into the lake behind her.

"_-truuuuuuueee!"_

Jesse covers his mouth as the credits roll, shaking with mirth. He looks beside him to see Rhoda have sunk lower on her seat with her yellow-gloved hands on her face.

"I can't believe you watched that," she mumbles on her palms.

"How come I never saw that on air?"

"Because," Rhoda stands up, "No other toon guy wants to work with me after that. It was the biggest mistake of my life- I only read my lines!"

She takes the film and stores it back to the library.

"All those stuff you've seen? There were all accidents. I mean, I thought Joey Rabbit was acting the fainting!"

She hangs her head.

"But the director love my jinx tendencies that he never told me until the short was finished! It's how I discovered one of my comedy abilities," she sighs, "I'm the eye of a storm-bringing disaster. Every toon guy around me gets hurt."

Jesse inclines his head to the side, he has heard about that.

Rhoda waves her hand dismissively to him, "You're not affected because you're Mr. Perfect!"

"I am not," he replies.

"Then how come dirt doesn't stick on you?"

Jesse decides to change the subject, "I'm glad it's not aired. That short doesn't seem like you."

Rabbit ears cock at the question, "What do you mean?"

"Rhoda chasing romance?" Jesse shakes his head, "The only time I saw you swoon was when you saw that ad for Carrot Candy."

Rhoda laughs and Jesse looks at her in surprise. Usually it's Rhoda who makes him laugh. A rare smile lights up on his face that is not seen by a lot of people.

"And are you really going to let them show your fans that you fawn over boys?" he elaborates coolly, "You're too cool for that –or them," remembering the sappy expression on her face.

Or the way that cartoon short made her cling on guys.

He is not going to honour that observation with a comment.

They walk out of the screening room. Rhoda shrugs.

"Besides, I'm not girlfriend material," then her eyes light up, "Hey Jesse! Speaking of material, Mina and I are going to watch Treasure Island for our Pirate Special Episode-"

Jesse stares at her, only half-listening. Did she just say she's not girlfriend material?

She's an outgoing, upbeat girl who'd go out of her way to make someone laugh when she sees they're blue- including him who keeps everyone away with an icy glare. She's the one who saw past his cold façade and sincerely reached out for him even though she doesn't seem to notice that she did.

She's got a sense of humour that she's never afraid to portray. She would find a ray of sunshine –no, she _is_ the ray of sunshine- when people are after him for something else and not talent. What guy wouldn't fall for her? Even he wants her. Are-

Wait, what?

"-to study their lingo like 'Aaaar!, Hello Matey!, Ya scurvy scallawags!, Shiver me bones!' but we should also read the book-"

"You're a rabbit," Jesse says suddenly out of the blue.

Rhoda blinks in confusion, "Of course, I'm a rabbit."

She tilts her head to the side questioningly.

"Have I been anything else to you?"

* * *

**Author's Note: Omigosh! I can't believe I wrote that table scene! What's wrong with me?! (evil grin) I should have written that for the original couple instead. Just kidding.**

I couldn't decide whether to put this as another chapter or a separate fic. What do you think?

The song came from this link: **Derpina Real Life the Musical. You can watch it in You Tube  
**

I 'm happy when you like my story enough to fave it –I really am. But would it be okay to ask for some feedback? I don't mind constructive criticism because it helps me keep on track but please tell me your reaction. I want to know what you think.


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